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I’ll be the first to raise my hand and admit I am guilty of using it for other purposes. You do a great job of really defining its proper uses and contexts.
What you say makes perfect sense, and if we really break down the semantics of the tag, its spec and suggested uses, and its potential abuses – it really lets us examine the right tag for the right job. The response from the screen reader is a sure sign that certain things simply wouldn’t work with a key/value pair, as suggested by many.